You Can't Have It Till I Give It

Hey everyone,

I guess its been such a long time since I came here and guess why I'm here? Most importantly, i really feel like venting my anger somewhere.....and just scream till there's no voice left.

If you're wondering what the issue is then I'll just give you a little background info. Do you have any idea what it feels like to be under-valued (i'm not even sure if that's a correct word, but it suffices for now) and not appreciated at all? Hands up if you've ever given your best to a cause (maybe even voluntarily) and someone turns to you and makes you feel like you threw your time away, even though it was for a worthy cause. Well, that's exactly how i should have felt through out today: unappreciated, unloved and any other un's you'd like to add to those.

Choose Right...you never know

I've had a really stressful month with tight deadlines and seemingly impossible tasks, but God has been faithful. Only recently i asked Him to secretly increase the number of hours for me alone (maybe 29hrs instead of 24hrs?)lol. but then again, I might spend the greater part of it, making up for lost sleep. :)

Anyway, while driving home from work yesterday, I passed by a mad man. He looked really "fresh". You know, like those ones that have not been mad for too long- maybe a few days or so. He maintained the small corner where he sat, with a broom in his hands determined to sweep the sand off the earth. Seeing that the traffic light was still green, I kept looking and watched as people cleared off as they approached his area. Of course, nobody wanted to have any "quanta" with him.

As i looked at him closely, i wondered what he would look like if he was clean shaven and for a moment, i tried to imagine him looking like the rest of us, all tidied up and making conversation and you know...living. It was hard but i tried even harder....but i really could not picture him any other way.

The lights changed to green and as pushed the pedals, i thought about that man. What was it like when he was conceived? I can just imagine his mother, shyly announcing to his father, that she had missed her period. I can see the show of joy and jubilation as the nurses announces 'It's a boy!'. Was he the first of many children? Or the last? Or maybe one out of many? I can imagine the look on his mother's face as he takes his first steps and says his first words. Did she for a minute think he'd have turned out like this in the end? if she did could she have stopped it? But just how did the little cute baby boy become this man that everyone avoids because although his body is present, his mind is far far away in captivity.

Someone said that we are what we are by the choices that we have made. The truth is that there are somethings that we are not responsible for: our parents, or siblings, or nationality, or skin color, or sex, or physical make up etc. For instance, I wont blame you if you are from a broken home, but I'll blame you if your child is from a broken home. Yes I know you did not choose to be a woman, but does that mean you'll allow yourself to be second rated? True, you might have better advantages if you were an American or born in America but that's no excuse for being lazy and refusing to maximize your potential.

Be careful the choices you make today because they are the foundations of the results you'll see tomorrow.Everything that exists today is because someone chose to make it happen. Even the world and man. It was God that said "let us make" and they agreed to make.

Every good or bad

...beauty and ash

...joy and tears

...pain and pleasure

is because someone chose to make it so.

Make the right choices, you never know who'll be affected by its results tomorrow.

FavorsHeart

P.S...Happy Birthday Topsie! You've inspired me in so many many ways. Have a beautiful year.

30 Years...and counting

So my parents clocked 30 years of "for better for worse" today. For them it’s been 30 long years of love and war, of smiles and tears and of hope and despair. I have watched them through my own 20-something years and I have observed that the younger generation still has so much to learn about the true meaning of marital commitment and staying true to the one you promised to love till death do you part.

Its been a rosy ride (yep, cos roses have thorns) and i can remember particular incidences that made me ask questions at those times. But still those two stayed together...sometimes like glue and sometimes like gum and sometimes it might as well have been water holding them, but they stayed.

My parent’s children (including yours truly) are all grown up and away from home now and so the house is back to the way it was some 30 years ago before the intruders came in, before the bills increased, before the sound of laughter or cries or music blasting could be heard from afar off, before time changed everything…the house is now occupied with the original two people, now with more grey hair, now with more wrinkles, now not as active as before (especially in disciplining children) and now better listeners.

Only recently, my mum wanted the recipe for "chin-chin" (Y'all know what that is, right?). She called to ask for it saying it’s been ages since she had to do any kind of pastry making (not quite her fault, seeing she has 4 daughters). My sister and I jokingly recommended that she mixed the dough while her husband cut it up into small shapes for her to fry. The image of them sweating it out left me in stitches.

And that’s how this post was born.

So today I’m dedicating this piece to my folks. I don’t know if they’ll ever get to read this or if they’ll ever know I even wrote this but I want to say thank you

~ for staying together

~for showing me that marriage is not convenience but a commitment

~for teaching me the joy of family

~for not holding back the rod from me (i'd have turned out really terrible..i'm sure!)

~for letting me know that home is more than a location, it’s a place I can be myself and be accepted the way I am

~for making my worries yours and reminding me that you’re there

I know it might sound like a cliché but if I have to come back to earth again after i'm gone…I’d ask for this same set of parents (well maybe with more money especially…lol)

So i'll sing like Style Plus "...30 years don waka...dem stil dey carry go, nobody waka nobody go solo...papa God o, their case o, na your grace o...Imela eh"

Just Sit Still

If I knew what would happen tomorrow or next week or next month....If I knew whether my book would be published, if the job would be mine, if the man I love so much would ask me to be his wife….

If I knew what the decision of that reputable school would be concerning my MBA application, if I’d have only daughters or only sons, if I’ll make more money than my parents….

It’s interesting that sometimes we feel that if knew what the next minute or hour or day or even month held, we’d do things a lot more differently.