Wednesday, 12 May 2010

You Can't Have It Till I Give It

Hey everyone,

I guess its been such a long time since I came here and guess why I'm here? Most importantly, i really feel like venting my anger somewhere.....and just scream till there's no voice left.

If you're wondering what the issue is then I'll just give you a little background info. Do you have any idea what it feels like to be under-valued (i'm not even sure if that's a correct word, but it suffices for now) and not appreciated at all? Hands up if you've ever given your best to a cause (maybe even voluntarily) and someone turns to you and makes you feel like you threw your time away, even though it was for a worthy cause. Well, that's exactly how i should have felt through out today: unappreciated, unloved and any other un's you'd like to add to those.

But at the end of it all, I learnt an interesting lesson : No one has the permission to take my joy (or lovely smile or laughter or peace or even sleep) unless I give it to them. I mean I am the sole determinant of how I choose to respond. They can bicker and bite and scream and howl and all what not but at the end of the day if all I decide to give back is a warm smile, then a warm smile it would be.

Truth is, I almost always knew this but it was like the lesson practically came knocking at my door steps.

I took it a step further and thought, What if I decided to cry because of the way I felt (and it does not take much to make me cry :) ) or frown the whole day through or lock myself up away from anybody else; what would happen? The person that'll feel the most impact of my actions would be.....wait for it, Yes me! No wonder they say attitude is key. Let me share some of my favorite quotes on attitude:

Napoleon Hill
Your mental attitude is something you can control outright and you must use self-discipline until you create a Positive Mental Attitude - your mental attitude attracts to you everything that makes you what you are

Irving Berlin
Our attitudes control our lives. Attitudes are a secret power working twenty-four hours a day, for good or bad. It is of paramount importance that we know how to harness and control this great force.

Brian Tracy
You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you.

Charles R. Swindoll
The remarkable thing we have is a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... We cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude.

So I chose to smile in the midst of it all - at least they say it takes less effort to smile (and fewer nerves too) and to think about my favorite things( no, I'm not telling). Eventually, I decided in my heart that if I have not "signed-off" my joy to you, then you cannot have it and no apologies for saying so!

Thanks for listening to my rantings....and making me feel better. I love blogsville!

P.S: This post was written yesterday.


  1. wow....i get to be the first to comment.

    lol.lady, can't imagine what that your day musta been like. but good to see you're back on track. at least, i know there'll be so many people glad about this. specially the everyday vendor you give a leisurely smile while doing your business. so attagirl!!! you're on your way.

    have a lovely day!

  2. Ogo of God!
    Na true o. No body has the right the take me joy away. You know what? The scripture says, "the joy of the Lord is our strength". If you allow your joy to be taken away, then you are allowing your strength to be zapped out of you. I like the way you responded jare. Our response to the events of our lives determines the value we get from it. Remember that my formula in the blog I once wrote - Events + Responses = Outcomes

    I must mention that I love that Brian Tracy's attitude saying too much... "You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you."

    John Maxwell talk im own.. "attitude is the mind's paintbrush" You can choose to paint your mind the way you want.

    Cheers Mon ami

    - LDP

  3. @Nike: Thanks dear....and yeah, I've learnt this one and I'm back on track again.

    @LDP:Yes o! I like that "attitude is the mind's paintbrush". God'll give us the grace to always get our attitude's right. God bless ya! Thanks for stopping by mine.

  4. I have nothing to quote..
    Not even philosophical..
    I can only say, take it easy and just chill..
    Lol, cheers!

  5. @sosexy: thanks dear. I really appreciate it...and yes, I'll take your advice and just chill.

  6. Someone once said, "things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out"



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