True word!

Its true that we do not know what we have
until we lose it,
but it is also true that we do not know what we have been missing
until it arrives

A true naijafrican

hey everyone, am so terribly sorry i have not been able to blog as often as i would have loved to. I mean no one told me it would be this.......whatever. Anyway am back again. am guessing you've been doing great in my absence?Of course, you have....cheers!


My mum sent me this as an email and i thought i should share it here.

You know you are a true naijafrican if.......

1. You unwrap all your gifts carefully, so that you can reuse the wrapper on another occasion.

2. You call a person you've never met before 'uncle...' or 'aunty....'

3.More than 90% of the music CD's and cassettes in your home are illegal copies. (You dubbed it from your neigbour or recorded it when it was shown on TV)

4. Your garage is always full of stuff because you never throw anything away, just in case you need it someday.(a gum boot without a partner and the babywalker - baby's now 12 and you are 48)

5. You have a collection of miniature shampoo bottles from your stay at hotels. (Go cool, Sweet heart, African pride....)

6. You have almost always carried overweight baggage when traveling by plane (You claim its because...'you never know'

7. If a store has a limit on the quantity of a product, then each member of the family will join separate queues to purchase the maximam quantity possible. (sugar,soap, rice, cooking fat etc etc during the old good days)

8. Children have annoying nicknames (De- Boy, De-Girl, Bomboy, Aboy,Mummy...)

9. Nobody in your family informs ahead of the time, you that they are coming over for a visit. (Uncle, wife, sis-in-law, two nephews and a neighbor have camped at your home)

10. You stuff your pockets with, mints and toothpicks at restaurants. (Murray mints, wrappers, and salt shakers!)

11. Your mother has a minor disagreement with her sister and does not talk to her for 10 years.

12. You only make telephone calls at a cheaper rate at night (especially flashers).

13. You never have less than 20 people to meet you at the airport or see you off even if it is a local flight.

14. You keep changing your Internet Service Provider because the first month subscription is free. (I know some people oh!.....)

15. Office supplies mysteriously find their way to your home.(Yes, staple machine, office pins, punchmachine,cellotapes, post-its,etc. )

16. When you were young, your parents would buy you clothes and shoes at least two sizes too big so that they would last longer.

The truth is i think my mum could really identify with No.4 and me, i can identify with one or two...or three...or four....gosh! Well let me know which ones you really 'feel'.

Have a great weekend.

The cat in the bag

'..Let the cat out of the bag before it turns into a lion.."

i heard a woman say this a couple of days ago on the Tyra Banks show and i ended up turning and twisting and pondering these words almost my whole day through.I remember growing up as a little girl under the disciplinary hands of my parents (thank God!) and the one thing my father would always remind us of was that there was a whole lot more trouble in store for us if we lied than if we told the truth.

There was no peace for lieing and the freedom you think it brings is virtual and only lasts for fleeting moment. I remember him saying once that he would be ready to defend any of his kids for whatever crime we commit if we'd tell him truth of what happened.But you know kids would always be kids and even though i heard all those sermons, sometimes it just seemed like that moment of freedom bought by lies was worth more than being scolded after telling the truth.Thinking about it,i came up with different reasons why people lie...

1.to cover up the truth (obviously the basic reason)
2.to protect themselves from being hurt 9or so they think)
3.to protect others from being hurt
4.to cover shame and avoid disgrace (what about in the long run)
5.to avoid being looked down upon or being rejected

am sure you can come up with so many other reasons in addition to those.
The truth of the matter is that no matter how wonderful and well thought of or properly concealed that lie is, the truth would always find a way out, it might be from that tiny hole in the wall, but it'll eventually rise to the surface.i heard something about a man who didn't know until he was about 60yrs or so that the woman he thought was his sister was actually his mother and the woman he always called mother was actually his grandmother (what!!).
By the time he found out, both mother and grandmother were dead already.so even though the originators were long gone, the truth never died.
Back to the cat and lion thing, lies can only work effectively as they are duplicated and multiply but then, the harder you try to create more lies to cover the one that "begat" that one, the more complicated it becomes and the more entangled you remain in the web..............to be continued

The battle

I was thinking today (thats about one of my favourite past times) and these words just came up....i put them down. I just thought i'd put it down here too.


its a battle..... or is it?
its a war, a strong contentention
where the opinion of the contended is hardly an issue
it is tossed from one end to the other
each one wanting to be the master,ruler,king and lord

am contemplating,
"is that such a bad thing to do?"
"who would know anyway?"
"no one is harmed, so whats the big deal?"

i know the answer to those questions yet i try to deny it within,
one contender is glad, things are working the way he wants them
he is in control, he muses

am roused by the awakening of the stronger of the two contender
rising within
questioning my actions, pondering
"...he is faithful and just to forgive..."
my knees give way and tears flow freely

in that moment the feeling of peace drives all uncertainty
am back where i belong, sweet peace comforting my soul

confidence springs up again and with it the guard are let down once more
the devouring contender creeps and guilt sets in

these knees subjected once again to the usual posture, tears flow again
and peace is renewed

its a cycle am tired of, the up and down times
i cant stand no more
i want to break free forever!!

My Sister

She needed to get a new hair do and a manicure too,
suddenly her old shoes are not good enough and she must get new ones,
new shirts, may a blazer or two, skirt suits or trousers,
a new wallet.....anything new would do.



My sister resumed work today and i could just feel the excitement all around her as she walked around to ensure everything was in the right order; the make up, the clothes, the everything.



She wants to make a good impression, she even wants to be the employee of the year at the end of the financial year...She'd make new friends, impress her boss, everyone would love her.She is armed with dreams in one hand and aspirations in the other as she finally begins her journey into the corporate world (she'd done so many tests and interviews in the past 6 months after NYSC, i suggested she wrote a book on job interviews)


She could hardly sleep the night before...ironed her clothes till they came alive, polished her new shoes(again) , everything even her undies all had an inkling of the fact that something new was happening.
Am happy for my sister and so is every other member of the family and am hoping and praying in my heart that in the months that will follow, she will have neither regrets nor rueful feelings

My sister, this piece is dedicated to you and to you alone (my first dedication). I hope you enjoy your new place and make the best out of it because i believe it is going to be a stepping stone to greater things that lie ahead; and of course now that you'd be earning some cash, am really happy to be at the receiving end.

Oh My!!

"When you go to cover up a pimple, choose a concealer that perfectly matches your skin. Then use your finger, not the wand (you don't want to contaminate the product with bacteria from your pimple). Blend in then dust loose powder over the area. Voila!"

I read that somewhere today in an article about how to cover up your pimple (am sure you've guessed the reason why i settled to read it).

One thing i get fascinated by each time i wonder about its origination from time immemorial to what it has become today is "make-ups'. Yep, you heard me alright. The lipstick, the eye-brow pencil, the lip-gloss, the foundation, the lip liner, the concealer......the list is endless with new additions every time.

The average woman, irrespective of race, color, size or age has an innate desire to look good and attractive constantly(men too). We want to always be the cynosure of every eye ; we want to look like the women on the cover pages of those magazines whom we envy so much.....

Am sitting somewhere right now and am watching women walk pass me.....all kinds of women (am telling you ); and each one has a form of make-up on or the other.....the well plucked eye brows, the very glossy lips, the heavily powdered face.....all just trying to portray the same "I look good" image.

But that's only on the outside.How about on the inside.....?We can conceal that spot or pimple or whatever we choose to call it ,while we are aching, hurting and in total distress on the inside.We try to cover it up and look good so that no one know what we are going through ; so that no one sees us as being weak or as being not being capable enough to handle our issues....so we bury it (or that's what we hope happens) and smile,do the "hello-hi" call and response cliche. So we succeed and no one knows.......but that does not solve it, does it?

The plain truth is we really can not walk around revealing the intensity of our problems as expressions on our faces, can we? (the world would be such a ''drabby" place to live in)....But sometimes it reveals itself in our attitude at a particular time.We snap at the slightest provocation, shout at the slightest mistake and react without even thinking............To Be Continued

Its Green and its all mine!!


I just love this song and the simplicity of the video is simply enamoring and so captivating, not to mention the appearance of one of my favorite stars, Joke Silva, at various points in the video too. I am sure I've listened to this song over 40 times in the past week (no exaggerations) and believe me i don't have plans to stop.....This song does things to me. It tells me about hope in a world that seems hopeless; it talks to me about being and staying positive irrespective of whatever.

As i listened to the song again a couple of minutes ago, it occurred to me that a lot of times we always need someone or something to give us that lift or that pump to make us feel better, to encourage us, to show us the silver lining in the dark cloud, to boost our confidence. It doesn't always have to be. The truth is that lasting confidence , encouragement and a positive outlook to life can only truly come from within. What am saying is that, no matter how much of motivational speaking you expose yourself to (on a regular basis, even) , it may not make much difference until you find that place within you where only you can reach to and draw strength from...while all other sources become supplements.

By the way,Toyin Sokefun-Bello a.k.a T.Y Bello ( the owner of the song) is not only a musician, she also used to be (and still is) a make-up artist and a hair dresser. Her need to keep a good record of her works led her on to the path of photography (a male dominated field and one of my secret passions too). She is so gifted and making good use of the endowments she's been blessed with too. She is an inspiration in many ways..........To view the video of the song am so in love with at the moment, click in the link below:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5z8nrkfveho

Preaching?or Plain Robbery?

"What is the world turning into?"
You can imagine that the reason for this rhetorical question is always another bizzare , unbelievable story or event. This time i said that to a friend was after listening to her recount a story that had happened to her sister(don't mind the distance from the actual person that had the experience) at a bus stop.



We were standing at the bus stop one monday morning when i commented on how much "safer" it was to board a bus at the bus stop as against the ones that stop on the road, endangering one to the risk of the "last-chance" buses.That was when my friend replied saying that there was no difference in the chances of risk one can encounter.

We argued back and forth until she told me this story am about to tell that changed my opinion.

Her friend was in a particular area and boarded a bus to get home, she actually,like me, preferred to board buses at the bus stop.Slowly, the bus became full and then it was time to take off. The conductor collected his fare and the driver started the engine, the journey began.



Not so much as 30 minutes into a less than 2hrs journey, a man stood up and began to preach something about how all were condenmed to hell if they failed to surrender their lives to God.He went on and on and on until he finally came to the end of the sermon with a supposed alter call for sinnners that wanted to become born-again and get to heaven.Of course, during the course of all the sermons and preaching and alter-calling, some of the passengers just sat uptight, some slept through it, others just sat, indifferent or lost in thought

Barely 5 mins later, the 'preacher' called for offerings with the traditional "offering time-blessing-blessing time" call. A couple of people began mumuring with one woman actually speaking loud enough to catch everyone's attention, saying the man was only using the whole preaching thing as an avenue to beg and collect money from peopla after psyching them.

While she was still speaking and gaining some supporters, two men , also dressed like our preacher, stood up (one from the extreme end and the other from just behind the driver) and one of them said loudly, interrupting our dear advocate of justice, "do you people want to bring out the money willingly or do you want it to be done by force?"

As he said that, the other man brought out a gun. All this time, the preacher brought out a bag and began passing it around with the man with the gun scrutinizing the money as it came out, barking comments like "is that all you have?","empty that bag!" ,

Meanwhile, the bus driver just sped off independent of any bus stops along the way and the conductor sat still. In the end they collected all the money, cell phones, jewelry and stuff that they could get from the passengers. Ironically, the preacher stood up at the end and shouted.."Praise the Lord!".

The passengers were dropped off in the middle of no where and left to find their own way, grateful to still be alive

Lets Say

Just got this and thought to share it...

To look is one thing;
To see what we look at is another;
To understand what we see is yet a third;
To learn from what we understand , still another;
But to act on what we learn is what really matters.......

(sent by a friend)

Do you know a quote that has blessed you?Dont keep it to yourself!Share it!

Mendicants...

The inspiration to write this came up 2days ago.I was standing at my bus stop somewhere in lagos, having reached my there a little earlier than i ought to in order to beat the traffic and reduce cost, i discovered to my utter amazement that there was no bus going my way. I was told that "the last bus just left"(usual story). Well i decided to redeem the time as well as my famished stomach by going over to buy roasted corn and pear.I collected my change from the seller and came back to take my spot waiting for the bus to show up.

I had barely began relishing and savouring the taste of the corn in my mouth when i heard the familiar sound of "aunty gimme money am hungry", i looked down to see a tiny, malnourished child probably 8-9 years (difficult to tell because of the state of her body) looking up towards me like i was hte messiah she needed to survive the next hour. To be honest with you, that was the last distraction i needed at that moment. Anyway she kept on begging and looking at me iin such a way as if to say if you cant give me money ,how about the corn in your hand.I was taking my time thinking about what to do this time. Just days before i had to share my precious gala between two children in similar circumstance but now it was taking me longer time to reach a conclusion on what to do.

Finally, sympathy got the better of me as i reached into my bag and gave the little girl a N20 bill , she gave me look that revealed how grateful she was and slowly walked away. I followed her with my eyes cos i wanted to see what the next "victim" would do to her. Instead she ran toward a tree where a tall and slender woman stood,leaning against a tree.I guessed that was her mother as she stretched the money i had given her toward the woman who collected it , like it was only a piece of paper and tucked it into a small bag she was holding for that purpose(i assumed).Immediately, she sent the little girl back to continue the "work " she was doing.

Just then my bus arrived and i sat down,somewhat comfortably after scrambling to get a space.I then began to think on the little girl i left behind.How much longer would she have before she would gave up this life and make a decision on the next step,maybe more corporate begging , maybe start a small trade,maybe,maybe,maybe.As i sat there i knew she had so many non-palatable options she would consider in order to survive. Would she have someone decent to talk to to help her out?Would she eventually break the circle of begging she had been born into?Or would she also bring up her children in the way she was brought up?I wondered.

As i kept on pondering, i took out time to thank God for my own life and the love he has for me.I told him i was grateful for family and friends and for the path he put me on. I told Him how much i appreciate the people he had brought my way, friends that i can count on to be strong for me; to help me in times of need; to pray with and for me; friends that i am accountable to.I told him i would not complain about how much better things could have been because things could be worse too. I asked Him to help me to be grateful in all things and at all times.

In the midst of all my meditation, i was so lost, that i did not hera when my bus stop was mentioned until the bus had passed and i woke up from my reverie and shouted the traditional "owa oh" .The driver stopped and i climbed out, grateful again.

My water broke!

O.k this was supposed to be my first post ever.....but the force working against it (awon aje) just didnt let it come out when it ought to.

But any way i decided to publish it to the shame of the devil! Amen!







Yes, indeed! My water finally broke. The water breaking experience is one that every woman has to go through before the birth of her new-born.It lets her know that the baby is ready to arrive.So where do i come in?My water of planning and cogitating broke some hours ago and my little baby....blog is born.Did i hear congratualation? Thank you.

But then with the birth of a baby comes the task of giving the baby a suitable name and this particular mother(yours truly) was not an exception. i thought and pondered , i wanted my baby to have the ideal name that would reflect the reason why it was born.....and then it came, the name-heartspeak.I appraised it,turned it around and figured out it could be looked at in two ways(depending on how sharp u are),heart's peak or heart speak.

However both meanings translate the reason for the birth of this baby.Here, i'll be sharing the bursting issues on the peak of my heart and it'll also be a spot for one heart to speak to another.

In summary though, i'll say thanks for showing up for my baby's naming ceremony and thanks for coming.................Welcome to Heartspeak!!

Watch Out!